Day #98 | "How to Not Be Controlled By Others' Words"

LOOK | WHAT DOES IT SAY?

Read 1 Samuel 25-26 and Psalms 54 and 63

THINK | WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

1. Don't be controlled by insults - David and Nabal (1 Samuel 25).

David admits in this chapter that he nearly sinned and took things into his own hands because he felt insulted by someone. When other people appear to look down on us, or mock us, or insult us, and they don't treat us the way that we deserve due to our position or experience, we tend to want to show them that they are wrong. Maybe we do what David almost did to Nabal, and we try to get back at them. Or, maybe we do the opposite, and dedicate seasons of our lives to trying to prove to that person that we are better, or know better, or can do better, than they seem to give us credit for (only to be disappointed when they remain unmoved). Either way, we are living a life where we are being controlled by the negative words of others. When we are tempted to do this, we need to remember that our primary relationship is with God: he alone defines who we are, and we live to please him, not those who look down on us.

2. Be open to reason - David and Abigail (1 Samuel 25). 

Abigail is a noteworthy, virtuous figure, because she was able to be the calm voice of reason in this passage. She turned David away from the path that he was on. While David was not controlled by her words, he did listen to her, and he was able to understand that he had been in the wrong. It is not "being controlled by others" to listen to them and find out that they are right and you are wrong. The difference is that when David listened to Abigail, he wasn't doing anything to make her think of him a certain way, but rather he listened because he found that what she said was right.

3. Don't be controlled by compliments - David and Saul (1 Samuel 26).

In this chapter David has learned the lesson of the previous chapter, and that lesson saved his life and future kingdom. Though Saul has pursued David, he doesn't react to Saul's newest provocation; instead he spares Saul's life (yet again). By not assassinating Saul, he wisely keeps his own kingdom from being founded on a cycle of kings being killed in order to grab power. But at the same time, he does not react to Saul's compliments, either. Saul had previously shown through repeated actions and reversals of favor that he could not be trusted. So when Saul said "I have sinned. Return, my son David, for I will no more do you harm... I have acted foolishly... You will do many things and will succeed in them" (1 Samuel 26:21, 25), you should notice a couple of things about David's reaction. One, David did not return to Saul. Instead he had a representative of Saul's come into the midst of his forces, to retrieve Saul's belongings. And we also see that David did not accept Saul's invitation at face value: "So David went his way, and Saul returned to his place" (1 Samuel 26:25). Sometimes we are so hungry for affirmation or peace that we listen to people whose words should not be trusted, and we make terrible mistakes because of that. David shows that we can treat people well, but not be gullible either. While we are to forgive everyone, that is not the same as trust.

4. Be attentive to God's voice - David and God (Psalms 54 and 63).

Both of these Psalms show David running to find his rest in God, when the words of men proved to be unreliable. Psalm 63 was written in the shadow of "those who seek to destroy my life" (Psalm 63:9), and Psalm 54 was written "when the Ziphites went and told Saul, 'Is not David hiding among us?'" (Psalm 54:0). But David was able to stand on the promises of God: he wrote about how God was his helper and the upholder of his life (Psalm 54:4), and that he was sustained by meditating on God throughout his sleepless nights (Psalm 63:6). 

DO | HOW DO WE RESPOND?

How can we respond in our worship, attitude, and actions? IN OUR ACTIONS we can stop when we hear someone say something to (or about) us, whether good or bad, before we act. We can ask what God would want us to do in this situation. We can ask whether the person is reliable. We can sort through the reasonableness of what they are telling us. And then, after taking some time in prayer, we can act based on what we believe God would have us do, and not (primarily) out of a desire to get a certain response from another person--though as we are trying to be a witness to them, we may act partially in order to gain a hearing.

PRAY | HOW DOES THIS BRING US TO GOD?

Whether in response to anything pointed out here, or to something else in your Bible reading time, take a few moments before you close up your Bible to pray in response to God. If you need a format for prayer, both the ACTS (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication), CALL (Confess, Ask, Love, Listen), and PRAY (Praise, Repent, Ask, Yield) methods are helpful ways to stay consistent.

-Sean